Bart Simpson Bio Page!

Age: 10

Middle name: Jo Jo.

Personality: Devious, underachieving, school-hating, clever.

Known aliases: Rudiger, El Barto.

Abilities: Possesses a huge repertoire of practical jokes and methods of revenge, with antics ranging from vandalism to international fraud. Prank calls to Moe’s Tavern are a specialty.

Discoveries: A comet that nearly destroyed Springfield, Blinky the three-eyed fish.

Idol: Krusty the Clown.

Past loves: Jessica Lovejoy, Laura Powers.

Extracurricular: Sawed off the head of a statue of town founder Jebediah Springfield. Decimated the Australian ecosystem with a bullfrog. Deceived Springfieldians into thinking that a boy named Timmy O’Toole had fallen down one of the town’s wells. Made a mockery of a school weather balloon launch by transforming the balloon into an effigy of Principal Skinner. Blew Agnes Skinner off of the commode by throwing a cherry bomb into a toilet in the boys bathroom. Mistaken for a genius after swapping IQ tests with fourth-grade brain, Martin Prince. Forced to make antifreeze-laced wine on a student exchange trip to France. Caused marital discord by taking pictures of a drunken Homer cavorting with belly-dancer, Princess Kashmir. Lead a war against neighbourhood bully, Nelson Muntz. Enjoyed brief, injurious career as a daredevil. Nearly disowned by his sister after ruining her Thanksgiving centrepiece. Deadlocked with Todd Flanders in a miniature golf tournament. Saved Mr. Burns’s life by donating rare double O-negative blood. Led a rebellion at Kamp Krusty. Helped clear Krusty the Clown’s name and finger Sideshow Bob in a Kwik-E-Mart robbery framing. Became famous on Krusty’s show as the “I didn’t do it” boy. Finked on Krusty to the IRS for tax fraud. Won an elephant in a radio contest. Served a brief stint as Mr. Burns’s heir. Sold his soul to Milhouse for $5.

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